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It all sounded like a new me, but how many times have I been fooling myself I wonder. What are new after all are the pains on my body. And that is because I am growing older and older and due to that inevitable natural process of growing each moment closer to death. Which is not the end yet I hear. Yes every day is a new life after a deep sleep of dying to what had just passed; I wake up to a body in a state of growth where decay is more apparent. Decay that pronounced itself with the pains that is perhaps somewhat in reciprocation to nevertheless my own desires, in youthful urgency I greedily satisfied them. With wayward depravity, the grabs of pleasures were excessive but justified I thought. After all they were there for my innocence to taste and savor unto full satisfaction. That too is part and parcel of the knowledge one acquires for ours is a quest to wisdom, as it is to be also that of self-fulfillment. However there are limits and thresholds to be observed too. Not understanding or rather ignoring that pain and pleasure are to be balanced just as meticulously in the well kept accounting of Mother Nature and the One Source we all came from and shall return to at the end. Only difference is my breath they seem to trip up so easily these days and makes me sing out like a new song. Nay not all that new but actually just like another old-fashioned love song. Sigh...so I may forget my pains and remember oh so sweet the pleasures of my dear life, I have had on the way back to the source through that same old kick called death.
- Artist's statement for "Inscrptions" curated by Jason Wee at the Art House during Singapore Writers Festival, Fringe 31 October to 30 November 2014. Was it just a year ago when things seemed to be going in a direction where the changes we ask for had a good fighting chance of becoming true. But now that a year had gone by, it seem to be not only a delay in changes but we may find a backlash of conservatism as Singapore gears herself to a year of self-congratulatory celebration of 50 years independence and success is a key word and sentiment/ Never mind the failures, lets walk like giants at least for the year ahead. Nobody needs bad news on her 50th birthday. I don't mean to be a wet blanket but there are various issues still held at bay that seems like needles and pins even as one try to feel comfortably sedated so as to enjoy a good snooze on the haystack not withstanding any needles in the hay stack. |