Freedom, Service, Hope #1 - lee wen 李文

Kulstof 15.
www.liveart.dk
Aarlborg, Denmark
16, November 2015

I went to Denmark with an all time low ever since i started to work with the sickness of Parkinson"s Ailment striked me. I had been having muh dificulties coping with my projects in Singapore and my family life in Japan. Due  to some changes in my medication which i failed to adhere with the appropriate instructions, it affected my well-being in significantly damaging ways that was aggravated with my insomnia. Added to that I had a fall that made it harder for my pain therapy to continue. I arrived in a dazed and confused state of mind thinking it would be the beginning of the end of performance in Europe as I checked into the hotel shaking in pain.
I became anti-social as i stayed in my room most all the time except to get food or the essential meetings.
I decided to "not perform" my solo and just explain my plight in three segments based on what i feel is the stripped down most essential things i can think of at this state of mind: 1) freedom, 2) service, 3) hope. i asked Helge Meyer, my buddy from Black Market to help me by signalling each 7 minutes i will speak in a stream of consciousness what ever came to mind based on these three words. The situation of "not perform" is the state of authenticity i failed to see in the claims for all these years of being in the scene. I sat blind-folded so as not to know who or how many in the audience. Signaled to begin i stood and groped for a standing microphone in front of me. Explained what I was trying to do and spoke as Helge announced the three 7 minutes i gave myself to speak on the three subjects uppermost in my mired mental state. i did not realized as i spoke blindfolded and swaying and shaking due to my physical illness, i was making a revolving movement where i ended facing away from the audience and microphone as i ended. i only realised that when i wanted to sit down again on the chair to end the "performance".
After this i felt relieved as it was a first stage of a personal carthaseses that helped gave me a new balance in my life.  it felt like I had gave it all away that i could be new again. A rebirthing without knowing it had happened that evening. It was the most intense sad/happy moment in my life.